About my auto-biography

Earlier I wrote that I would think about whether I should write my an auto-biography. I have now made up my mind that I would write it. This is because in my life story, there are many ups and downs which I would like to reflect on and I would like to fix whatever mistakes there are. It may also be good for some to understand what suffering is and how others have struggled, so that from there they can learn about the reality of life or even realize what happiness is from knowing what suffering is. 

I do not really wish to make the story of my first few years public as it is has political complications and I don't feel comfortable to share it with those whom I don't know. If I leave out sensitive topics in order to put the story in the blog, the story would be incomplete and may not be meaningful. So I do not intend to put it in my blog and hope you all can understand. 

However, if you are really keen to know the early part of my life, then you just have to write an email to me with some introduction of yourself and most likely I will send the story to you if I know you well. I will send it by email but you have to promise me that it is only for your own reading. Please do not circulate the story to others by email or publicize it in websites or by print. I will try to send the story to you after a few days of receiving your email. If you did not receive it, please remind me to send it to you. 

I will put in my blog my life story from the time when I was 4 years old. I want to let you know again that my life story is just about the struggles of a mother and her only child until the child could stand on his own feet. I am not trying to present a wonderful and inspiring story of myself so please don't expect that from me or else you will be very disappointed.  

I am actually trying to put together my entire life story as a record for myself. These few days, I have been calling my mum and getting as much information from her as possible. She is also trying her best to give me an accurate story. I do not remember anything about my life before I was 3 years old. My mother vividly remembers everything just like it had happened only yesterday. At the same time as I am putting together my auto-biography, I feel it is all right to share it with people like you who are somehow connected with me through karma and therefore  have some interest in my works and lifestyle. To be honest, I do not feel that I have any wonderful or special qualities which you can learn from. 

However if you have the quality of treating every experience as a lesson or as an opportunity to accumulate knowledge, then surely there are many things for you to learn from, not only from my life story but from everything that is happening around you. This is just like how Marpa told Milarepa, after Milarepa had received the essence of his teachings and requested to return home, that in his hometown he can find a great teacher that would show him impermanence. When he went back to his hometown after being away for many years, he found that his mother was dead, his sister  was missing and her whereabouts were unknown. The house, once a beautiful and grand structure was extremely dilapidated and the texts were strewn untidily among grass which now grew on the ground. From this, he finally understood what impermanence really was and developed true renunciation.       

  

From my birth until I was 9 years old, my life story is all about the struggle for survival. From the time I was 9 years old till I was 20 years old, my life story is mainly about my education. From the time I was 21 years old till I was 24 years old, my life story is about taking over the responsibility of looking after the monastery at Pokhara. From the time I was 24 years old onwards, my life story is about my first trip overseas and taking the role of Abbot in Karma Kagyud Buddhist Centre in Singapore and other developments subsequently. 

My email address is: shangpa@gmail.com